#justguatemalathings

I can't say for sure if the things I am going to share with you are "just" Guatemala things. They may easily be shared with other cultures, nations, or people. I don't know if they are typical elsewhere, all I know is that I've seen these things here and shared many belly laughs with my teammates over them. So, here is a fun post about fun things here in the fun lil country lovingly called Guate (pronounced "gwatt-tay"): 

1. Food In Plastic Bags

Need some ketchup to-go? Here, let me put that in a lil baggie for you. Would you like to buy some gummy worms? I'll bag'em right up! 

It's common for people to store, transport, and serve food in plastic bags. It doesn't matter whether you're in a home, at a store, or in a restaurant. When it comes to food (and drinks!) plastic bags are the way to go.

Pictured: A giant bag (trash bag size) of chuchitos (Guatemalan Tamales). 

2. More Mayo Than Anyone Could Ever Possibly Need

Are you an adventure-seeker? A risk taker? Does the thought of getting heart disease make you say HELLmann's YEAH!? Then boy have I got the product for you. 

Purchase this bag of mayo (which is essentially a 55 gallon drum) at your local Guatemalan grocery store and get a cute little travel mayo with it. Perfect to throw in your purse and take on the road with ya! And by "on the road" I mean straight to your cardiologist. 

3. The Muppet Fruit

If you have any idea what this fruit is called, please comment it below because your guess is as good as mine. I will tell you what little I do know about it:

This fruit looks like Animal from the Muppets laid an egg. The internal/edible part is translucent. It has a pit in the center that looks exactly like an almond. It is undoubtably the sweetest little fruit I have ever tasted. 

4. Freeze Range Chicken

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; Fill his freezer with chicken and you feed him for a lifetime. TBH, this is how the chicken is sold in stores and I'm not sure what the process looks like to get it from here to your home. Hope you brought your plastic gloves!

5. Chuchos... Chuchos everywhere

Street dogs are called "chuchos" and they're as numerous as cars on the road. Do all dogs go to heaven? I don't know, I'm starting to think they go to Guatemala. You can leave your registered emotional support animal at home because, no matter where you go, street dogs will be there too. 

6. Organic Biodegradable Candy Holder

And you thought no one else cared about environmentalism. I actually think the act of stabbing lollipops into a cabbage is kinda poetic. 

7. kerchow

Don't you know that racing stripes can make anything go faster? Many vehicles here are fully customized with decals of racing stripes, popular name brands, and rosaries. 

8. Barriletes Gigantes

That's right. Giant kites. They're a pretty big deal 'round these parts. Especially here in Sumpango where I live. Every year on the first of November, Guatemalans celebrate the Festival de Barriletes Gigantes by flying their huge, hand-made kites across the Sumpango skies. Pictured above is only half of one kite made by a group of teenagers we met. This kite is 5 meters wide and, when finished, will require ten adults to pilot. They told us some kites are up to 20 meters wide and take 40 people to pilot. 

This holiday is sorta like day of the dead in Mexico, but they don't seem to like it when you bring that up. Many believe the first day of November is the only day of the year that deceased loved ones can see onto the earth. That is why the kites feature beautiful artwork and words/phrases for their late loved ones to see.

9. Bag Water

Hot? Tired? Thirsty? 

Sounds like you need to hit some bag water. Pure and room temp, perfect for on the go. What are you waiting for? Bite off a corner and get to chuggin'.

10. Let's talk McGUAnald's 

The advertisement reads, "The taste of Guatemala in McCafe." Beneath is a picture of a refried bean and cheese tostada. I can't think of anything more Guatemalan than beans in the morning. The McDonald's here are different. Here's why:

The McCafe area is a literal coffee shop that sells real Guatemalan coffee products including espresso drinks and drips (American McDonald's please get it together). 

Sorry ma'am, but when you asked for chicken did you mean mcnuggets or a LEGIT WHOLE DEEP FRIED BONE-IN CHICKEN?! Because, here at Guatemcdonald's, you can go either way. 

11. Latte Art

But make it advanced, Olympic-level latte art. 

12. Fun Clothes!

In the markets you can usually find shirts, pants, overalls, and skirts made from patches of traditional fabrics. I think the colorful twist on tradition is so fun!

13. DO NOT PEE HERE

enough said. 

14. Techo Chucho

You've heard of street dogs, now get ready for roof dogs! When peacefully walking down the street, its a rather odd experience to get barked at from above. But, hey! Who says Rover needs a yard to be happy? He's got prime real estate right above your living room. 

15. Mountains with Faces

At lake Atitlan, there's a mountain ridge that Indigenous people called the "Mayan man" or "Mayan Face". There is a famous hiking trail that will take you to the top called Indian Nose. If you ever find yourself in Panajachel or near Lake Atitlan, I recommend taking the hike. 

16. Melon Juice

Ever wish you could literally drink a cantaloupe? Well now you can! Maybe melon juice is a typical drink elsewhere and maybe you've had it before. For me, this was a first. 

17. do NOT forget this

You better grab some toilet paper BEFORE you enter the stall or you'll find yourself sitting in there, all sad and alone and paperless, thinking DAMAS. 

17. ORU Diploma

My diploma? What is this doing here in Guatemala? Oh yeah, I just got it because I have officially GRADUATED FROM UNIVERSITY BABBBYYYYYY! wooooooooooo

That's pretty much all I've got for you. I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to adding more #justguatemalathings posts in the future. And, who knows, maybe even a #justwhateverthenextcountryisthings post. I guess you'll just have to stay tuned to find out. I wasn't sure how to end this blog, but then I was reminded of how suspenseful and appealing cliffhangers tend to be. But then I thought